Spectrum 5: Delirium

In this very special episode: Maria eats a sandwich.

Chapter 5: Delirium

Maria woke up in her bedroom, groaning as she rubbed her eyes from the bright orange hue of the morning sun. She slid out of bed and quickly remade the covers so they would look somewhat neat. She took a moment, sitting on the edge of it and looking around a little bit. Her room was a very soft shade of blue. Her desk and dresser were both made of the same cherry wood, a small computer set up with her chair tucked underneath. Her dresser had pictures resting ontop of it showing her, her sister Sienna, their father Michael, and her mother Lorrie. Her mother, along with her and her siblings all had the same dark red shade of hair, while their father had more of a black color to his. She smiled some, walking up to the dresser, pulling back a drawer and grabbing some clothed to get changed.

She folded up her pajamas, setting them into a clothes hamper to put in the washing machine for later, and then walked over to a mirror. She was wearing her usual at home outfit, a long sleeved navy blue shirt and black jeans. Her hair was straight, long and red, going all the way down to her shoulders, a bang covering some of her face and leaving her lone blue eye peeking out along with a bit of her forehead.

She gently grabbed the frame of the mirror, gently leaning into it and staring at her face. She was called pretty fairly often, but she felt like that was a normal thing to say when people talk to a teenage girl. Self esteem seems to be so important for people her age, but she kind of didn't really care. She doesn't really like to act like a girl, or a boy. She just always liked to act like herself and never felt like she had to change for anybody, if they didn't like her, she would just move on.

She kept looking into the mirror, and she suddenly noticed for a brief moment, her uncovered eye began to flash red. She jerked back from the surprise, before looking out of morbid curiosity... They were back to just being blue. Blue like they've always been, blue like they always will be. She shook her head a couple of times, quickly dismissing that from her memory as she walked over to the light switch, turning her ceiling fan on, she always did this when she woke up. The air had a bad habit of getting stagnant on her, and the fan was probably her best solution.

She huffed her shoulders and looked up, smiling a bit as the fan slowly twirled overhead, the airflow to cause her hair slowly sway in the breeze. She looked down at the pictures on her desk, and quirked an eyebrow. She leaned in once again to inspect them, she noticed something was wrong. She grabbed onto one of the picture frames and inspected it. It was just her and Sienna standing together, her mom and her dad were both missing.

She tilted her head, pacing in circles around the room and staring at the wooden picture frame. She stood once again in front of the mirror, but then noticed something once again. Her hand felt hot... not warm, but nearly burning hot. She looked down, the picture had ignited, ashes of it flying into the air and fading into the ether. She dropped it and lurched back, letting out a shriek. But when she shrieked, she had no voice. It was nothing but silence, she gently held her hand to her chest, squeezing it tight to help soothe the pain. She accidentally glanced back at the mirror and realized that things have changed once again.

The image staring back into her in the mirror was different. She looked taller, her skin was sickly pale and she had dark rings under her eyes. Her hair was cut much shorter, and looked somewhat ragged. Her eyes were crimson, a shade of vivid red like pools full of blood. She rubbed her eyes, but the image stayed the same, glaring back at her unforgivably no matter how she moved, her reflection stayed still and just... peered.

She looked around her solemn reflection, her sky blue room had charred wall paper, broken glass, everything looked seared and destroyed around her. She cringed some as she noticed her reflection was beginning to burn away as well, her body slowly being turned into ashes in the breeze, flowing into the open window and turning into nothingness.

The morning sun began to fade, the sunlight turned an eerie brown color, getting nearly as dark as night as it struggled to pierce the clouds, the room slowly looked less and less welcome, she slowly walked back to her bed and noticed that the sheets were burning away. She gasped and turned around. Everything in her room was doing the same thing, burning into soot and ash. She felt a soreness in her back like being branded, the searing ache across her entire back and shoulders nearly crippled her, causing to fall onto her face before crawling to the door.

When the door swung open, she just realized where she was. This was the day her parents died and her life was changed forever. The hallway was full of smoke clogging the upper half of air, the kitchen was once again collapsed, But the door to her fathers room was missing. Fire was licking the sides of it, but it looked like she could walk through.

She tried to call out to her dad, to see if he was there, but once again her voice fell on only silence. She tried again, shouting her heart out and once again there was nothing. Her voice just didn't seem to exist. She closed her eyes, hoping none of this was real... but then she realized.

The air was clogged and ashy, the smoke she inhaled through her nose burned its way down and seared her lungs like she was inhaling powered glass. The heat of the flames were warm on her face, not a cozy warm, but an uncomfortable warm... It hurt to feel it. She opened her eyes to find herself in the exact same place, staring at the gaping flaming door frame in the shambles of her old house.

She inhaled and broke out into a run, dashing along the hallway and making a deft leap through the flames before landing on her shoulder, rolling back onto her feet. She turned around, and noticed that the flaming door that still showed her home was still there, but she was surrounded by darkness. Up above, below, to each side was darkness as far as the eye can see. Her footsteps echoed hundreds of times as she walked, but when she leaned down to slide her hand on the ground, it felt smooth like glass.

She looked around, rubbing her face to get rid of some of the soot, wondering if there was a single feature in this black void where her father and mothers room used to be. The frame of the doorway grew smaller and smaller with each step, almost like a portrait of destruction that slowly faded from view. She kept going, walking backwards to watch it grow smaller and smaller, until it slowly faded from existence as well, leaving nothing but black. The only thing she could see was her hands out in front of her.

She heard a faint whisper, so faint that she could barely hear it over the sound of her own heart beating, she looked up to see where it came from.. but the void stayed the same as it was, until she noticed a small orange speck in the distance. It wasn't the flaming door, that was the way she came from. This was in the completely opposite direction. She began to wander towards it, the pain in her back was surging, feeling like it was heating up. It was excruciating, but she forced herself to continue, slowly hobbling toward the light.


The light began to slowly grow and fill her peripheral vision, getting brighter and brighter, the muffled whispers still unintelligible in her ear. She broke out into a run, she was straining to continue but pushed on anyway with perseverance, not caring about the pain anymore as the light grew. The soft orange glow heating up her face more and most as she ran.

Once she got close enough, she realized that what she was looking at in the black void was a phoenix. It screeched and began to fill the black sky with fire. Slowly covering all she could see with a fire so bright that she had to turn her head away. “It is almost over...” A calm, male but somewhat feminine voice echoed overhead.

It screeched again. “Close your eyes for one moment, and the pain will end.” It declared, Maria gasped as her heart began to race, falling onto her back and staring up at it with a panicked look on her face, her red eyes sharply glaring up at it. She couldn't mistake what she was looking at. She gulped and stood up, ready to scream at it, but once again her voice was mute. Tears began to roll down her cheeks and well up, making her eyes sting from the mixture of the tears and heat. She silently shouted again, pointing a hand at it.

“Only more moment until the hurting stops...” It said, and Maria's hand ignited into flame. She felt every moment of it as pain surged into her hand and up her body, her entire body slowly igniting and bursting into fire. Heat nearly melting her flesh as she panicked, spinning around and tripping once again when she tried to break out into a run. Her body slowly whittling away to ash in the stagnant air as she ran, it consuming her more and more, shouting quietly once last time before fading into nothing.

Maria quickly gasped for air, shouting a blood curdling scream into the air as she awoke, quickly rolling to one side to try and dash away before falling out of the top bunk of the bed. She fell briefly, her body smashing into the hardwood floor with a dull thud. She scratched at the ground, throwing away her blankets and standing up. Currently clad in her black pajama pants and a loose shirt. She looked around the room and realized she was back in her dorm. She raised her hands and slowly placed them on her throat, she was afraid to talk, but forced herself through it with a gulp.

“I...I-I-....G-Gah..” She coughed loudly, collapsing back onto her knees and planting her hands into the floor. She felt so weak, sick and afraid. “What the hell was that...?” She quietly asked herself, feeling her hands and legs shaking as she stood back up, stumbling over and leaning against the wall to recollect herself.

“The dream hurt you, didn't it?” The male voice spoke to her, it's feminine voice slightly echoing, but it didn't really seem like it was in the same room, from the way it reverberated. She looked up, her eyes looking around the room and seeing nothing. “W-who said that..?” She said, nervously as her eyes darted around the room, running over to her dresser and searching around hastily. “It was I, Right here.” A small red phoenix floated down and perched itself on the dresser. It looked translucent and glowing, its large eyes glowing a blank orange color. It looked as small as a parakeet, except.. well it was a phoenix.

It stepped a little closer, chirped and looked up at her. Maria's fear turned into focused anger, her eyes glaring and piercing right through the little bird. “Is this a joke?” She said, her voice showing a calm dismay. The small phoenix tilted his head at that. “What's a joke?” He wondered, Maria leaned down, narrowing her eyes. “You. What the hell are you?” The phoenix looked down at the ground, sighing some, his voice sounding like it was transcending sound and entering the center of her head.

“I've been... with you for a while now, but this was the first time we spoke. Unfortunately... As soon as you give it some thought, you'll know who I really am.” He said, his voice showing some signs of sorrow.

Maria lifted a brow, before quickly clawing so hard into the dresser that her fingernails dug into it. “No way...” She exclaimed, not believing it. He nodded his head some, chirping again. “You're the one who did it...” She growled some, tears rolling down her cheeks once again as she glared daggers at him. “Yes, I ended up killing your parents. It honestly was a huge mistake, it was like I couldn't control myself...” He calmly stated, backing up a step.

Maria suddenly broke into a loud shout. “WHY? WHY DID YOU DO IT!?” She shouted, her hands trembling some as she pressed into the table, the muscles in her arms and shoulders tensing a bit as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, she felt like she was going to boil over with fury. “I can't explain, I don't really know why anymore... Ever since they destroyed my body, I can only remember what you know in your head, since I was connected with you. I'm very sorry, Maria.” He continued, trying to gauge her reaction.

“The real reason is lost in history, unfortunately. But now we're together, we should make the best o-” Maria cut him off, grabbing the whole dressed and pushing it onto it's side with a heavy smash. The clothes fell out of it onto the floor below, the phoenix unaffected as it seemed to just flap and slowly float. “That... isn't good enough of an answer.” Maria hissed at him. Her breathing was heavy, and her fists were clenched so tight her nails were cutting into her skin.

“But it's the only answer we have, I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you because of me.” He tried to diffuse her by just being honest, but she just reached out to try and swing at him, her hand passed right through his body like it didn't exist. She growled again, storming to her closet and grabbing her weapon bag. Undoing the zipper and quickly putting her pole arm together.

“SHUT UP.” Maria roared at the phoenix, pointing her spear tip at him. “Please, Mari-” He got cut off when Maria quickly swung her glaive at him, he quickly flapped up and it missed, slicing a diagonal cut through the blue window blinds and ruining them. She stabbed again, smashing the end of the blade into a wall before cutting toward him, him quickly flying away once again.

“NOTHING YOU SAY WILL EVER FIX THIS.” She shouted, dashing at another wall and smashing the mirror and pictures off of the wall, he landed on another dresser and she just smashed her glaive into it as well. She threw the other dresser into the ground, before turning around and seeing him on a recliner chair that was brought in, she ran at it and began to stab at it a couple more times, shouting manically at him. The spear shots just went through him like they didn't exist.

“This isn't going to work, and you know it, You're just making a mess.” He scolded quietly. Maria shouted again, stabbing through the couch this time. “JUST DIE ALREADY!” she shouted louder, before suddenly the door pulled open.

Robin stared at Maria, toteing a spear in her hands, all the furniture was either knocked over or destroyed, holes were put in the walls, nothing wasn't knocked over and Maria was just glaring at an empty couch with these searing red eyes of hate she's never saw before. Her jaw dropped in shock, the bag of food she went to get Maria since it's been a couple of days since she fell asleep, the food dropping onto the floor quietly. “What happened?” She quietly asked, slightly fearful as to what Maria might respond with.

Maria just shouted at her, her voice panicking with the shaking of her hands like she couldn't handle her own rage. “H-he's right there! He killed them! He killed my family!” She shrieked, pointing at the chair she was stabbing, Robin looking where she pointed and there was nothing but a destroyed chair.

“There's nothing there, Maria.” Robin replied with confusion, but instantly Maria just screamed at her, running up and grabbing the collar of her shirt. “You're lying to me! You see it, don't you!?” She shouted the questions at her, still trembling from being sent into an absolute fury. “She's right, Maria” The bird said, flying up to perch on the livid girls shoulder. “No one can see or hear me except you, its because of the burns I gave you.”

She began to break down, sputtering and panting under her breath while more tears began to surge down her face. She pushed Robin back and dashed down the hall. “Leave me alone!” She shouted, heading downstairs and running outside. She dashed to the closest trashcan and collapsed to her legs, she lifted her head up as something welled in her stomach, before violently vomiting into the trashcan once or twice, dropping to the sidewalk beside it as the bird slowly floated down to land beside her. “You can't keep doing that, the sudden change in emotions is too much for your body to handle.” He said, showing some concern.

“Shut up..” Maria barked between her panting breaths, she felt sick and didn't feel like standing back up. A male voice suddenly shouted at her just across the courtyard, Maria glanced up and noticed it was the member of her sister team, Jonah Delaney. He ran over beside her and looked down at the lone girl. “I saw you blow chunks in that trash can, are you sick or something?” He said, reaching down to grab her by the arm, hoping to lift her up. She was pulled back onto her feet, but quickly stumbled once again and fell back onto her butt.

“Yep, Sick.” He commented with a light chuckle. “You know, I used to get sick all the time during car rides when I was a little younger.” He rubbed his shoulder some, giving a reassuring smile to Maria. Maria cocked her head to one side, raising a brow. “Jonah, is this about anything that matters?”

“Well...” Jonah trailed on, standing her up and walking with her along the courtyard. Her panic slowly faded but it seemed like she was just annoyed or frustrated. “I wanted to tell your dorm that Sienna and Ashley decided to start the exam today.” Maria rolled her eyes and sighed at that. “This is totally the best day for it, I guess.” She said sarcastically, yawning and walking with him along the sidewalk.

“I can tell that's sarcasm. So... can you tell me why you were throwing up?” She looked at the ground underneath her, sighing as she tried to think of an excuse. “I got kind of sick, haven't been holding anything down.” The phoenix appeared and landed on Maria's shoulder, but since she didn't feel it, she couldn't notice. “Please don't lie to people.” Maria quietly thought 'Like anyone would believe me if I told them the truth.' to herself, looking up at him, her hands were still shaking, he looked down and grabbed her hand, stopping her and lifting it up.

“You're shivering, also... your hands feel really cold. Have you held down any food or water the past few days?” He wondered, Maria wriggled her hands, yanking them away from him with a nonplussed look on her face. “No, and don't grab my hands again without asking.” she reprimanded him, shaking her head and walking ahead of him. “S-sorry, Maria!” She kept walking off, not turning around as he quietly stood awkwardly in the middle of the sidewalk. “Get some food! You'll feel better.” He said, somewhat shouting.


Maria barked back. “Fine! Whatever!” She said, turning a corner and heading to the cafeteria by herself. The cafeteria was pretty big, but it kind of reminded her of a much larger version of her own school. There was a place to buy food, a place to sit and eat, and vending machines lining each side. She sighed and pulled out her wallet, pulling it open and inspecting it to realize that she STILL had no money. Lunch didn't seem like it was going to be an option.


She looked around the lunchroom, hundreds of teens and adults dressed in the school uniform were eating, chatting, having a good time. Some were bullying or making fun of others, and some just quietly ate lunch by their selves. More to the sides of the room, the benches emptied out to near nothing, Maria walked over to an empty bench to sit alone, slouching forward and laying her chin into her hand as she closed her eyes.

“If you're still tired, you should sleep” The bird softly spoke. Maria mumbled quietly in response. “I can rest my eyes wherever I want, you're the one who gave me the nightmares.” The bird gave a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, I kind of did that wrong... sorry.” She lifted one eye, him walking around slowly on the lunch table in front of her. She closed her eye once again and gave a yawn. “So do I have to talk so you can hear me? Or do you read my thoughts too.” She said, he chirped and responded. “Hey, something out of you that isn't telling me to shut up, awesome.” He said jokingly before answering some, flying up and perching on her head. “The scars on your back had my magic, I'm part of your body, not your mind. So you have to actually talk for me to hear anything.” Maria replied to that almost instantly.

“Hey, bird?” She asked, the bird looked down at her. “Yes?” He asked, Maria slumped into her hand even lower, her arm the only thing holding her hand up. “Shut up.” The bird sighed, curling up and resting in her hair as Maria began to drift off for a short nap in her seat. Her eyes grew heavy as a gentle voice spoke up and broke her drowsiness.

“May I sit here?” She asked, Maria opened her eyes and sat back up. The girl was wearing a dark red school uniform with a white blouse underneath of it, a blue bow tied around her neck. Her skin was fair, her hair was the whitest hair Maria had ever seen, longer than her shoulders and having several blue ribbons tying around certain strands to pull them into a small braid. Her eyes were a vivid pink color and looked nothing like anything she's seen before.

Her features seemed pretty standard, her skin was pretty smooth and well kept along with her hair, her head had a more oval shape to Maria's, but they were the same height. Maria could guess she was a little older since she just didn't have that look to her. “Go ahead.” Maria said flatly, the girl smiled and sat down on the other side of the bench with a smile. “Thank you, miss. Do you sit here often?” Maria looked up, shaking her head and watching her as she pulled out a sandwich from the bag. “No, I don't” Maria answered, still somewhat drowsy, but still able to hold a conversation.

“Do you?” Maria asked, and the white haired girl nodded some. “Yeah, this is where I always eat lunch, people don't really enjoy eating with me.” Maria shrugged a bit, leaning back and scratching though her hair with one hand. “Any reason why?” She asked, with a hint of curiosity. The girl looked to the floor, shaking her head gently. “I was born here, and raised here. My parents were immigrants. People don't really enjoy my kind being here after the war 20 years ago, even if I call this my one and only home.” She answered, this caused Maria to raise a brow, rubbing her own cheek with her hand and crossing her arms on the table. “Weird, The crossing restriction only got lifted 10 years ago.”

The girl nodded, the crossing restriction was placed after the war ended to not raise political tensions, pretty much locking anyone from going to another continent to avoid any misunderstandings or reasons for the war to break out again. The law was lifted after a decision, but people barely cross the waters anymore. “We moved here just before that, in hopes of finding a new life.” Maria nodded at her response, blinking a couple of times. “And how did that go?” Maria wondered, scratching her shoulder. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, it must've been a soft spot for her, Maria quietly thought to herself from her reaction.

“Father abandoned us, and mother died giving birth to me. I was raised by an orphanage instead.” Maria nodded a little bit, her being from Astra explained her odd coloring, since the Astrian natives tended to have white hair and red or pink eyes. “Thus why my name is Cassandra, and not something like Revesia, like my mother was.” She leaned back and sighed, crossing her arms. “Nothing about me, what about you? Where are your parents.” Maria looked at a wall when she asked that, before looking back at her. “They died three years ago when a monster attacked our home.” Cassandra's face turned somber, reaching up and gently rubbing onto her shoulder. “I'm really sorry, Miss.” Maria grabbed her hand, gently pulling it off of her and looking up at her with a sharp gaze.

“Don't feel sorry for me, it's in the past.” Cassandra pulled her hand away from Maria with a nod, leaning back against and continuing to eat her food. “To be honest, I'm surprised.” Cassandra observed, giving a friendly smile to her. “You're the first person in my school besides my instructor who wants to talk to me. Everyone else just slings insults at me.. sometimes they even beat me up.” Maria frowned at that and sighed. “I don't judge people until I know them.” Maria quietly answered.

Cassandra nodded with a smile. “That's a good trait to have, you know... Means you're easy to be friends with.” Maria chuckled at that, patting the table firmly to make a thud. “Hell no, I'm not likable. I'm a fucking jerk with emotional problems.” Maria replied. “If you think I'm a nice person, you're sorely mistaken.” Maria warned, but Cassandra shook her head. “Yet you gave me more of a chance than other students, that has to add up to something.” Maria glared up at her with her deep red eyes and sighed. “...Why do you not have any food? This is the cafeteria you know..” Cassandra broke the brief silence with her question.

“I have no money.” Maria said, somewhat annoyed by that fact still. Cassandra quietly pondered before reaching in and placing a second sandwich in front of her. “You can have mind, hope you're not allergic to ham or anything.” She looked down, unwrapping the plastic, her hands still gently shivering as she lifted it up. “Thanks, I guess.” Maria replied, biting into it. It was okay for a sandwich, it was kind of hard to screw up a sandwich unless you replaced the mayonnaise with toothpaste or something equally stupid.

She quickly finished the sandwich, cleaning up any leftover crumbs and quickly getting out of her chair, turning around and getting ready to quietly leave. “Oh, are you in a hurry?” Maria put her hands in the pockets of her pajamas, turning around to look back at her. “Yeah, I have my entrance exams soon.” Cassandra nodded. “Those are pretty hard when you're new; By the way, can I ask you two things?”

Maria shrugged her shoulders. “Go ahead.” She said, stretching her arms a bit.

“What's your name?” Cassandra asked.

“Maria.” Maria replied, looking back at her with a hand resting on her hip. “What was the other thing?”
“Will you... eat lunch with me again when you come back?” Cassandra asked of her, Maria looked confused and cocked her brow, her head tilting some as she looked back. “Why?” Cassandra blushed a bit and looked at the floor. “Well... I just like having someone to talk to.” Maria gave a light chuckle and turned around, walking away as she replied. “I'll try, but no promises.” She answered back, Cassandra looked around a little bit before tucking her arms closer, giving a very quiet sounding “Yay,”. As the doors swung shut to the lunch room.

The bird reappeared on Maria's shoulder. “Hey, I think that was the most I've ever seen you socialize! Good job, sweety.” Maria stopped, and glared at him. “Two things, bird. Never call me sweetie again unless you want me to rip your throat out... And I still hate you for everything you've caused me.”

The bird sighed, looking down from feeling suddenly depressed. “I know, just... trying to lighten up the mood.” He commented, fading back into the ether.

“Whatever you call it, bird.” She said, walking back to the front of the dorm and seeing Jonah sitting on one of the stairs of the staircase that led up to the dormitory. Jonah looked up, running over to her and standing in front of her.

“You finished?” He asked, she just nodded. His face looked a bit upset Maria noticed, crossing her arms and tilting her head. “What is it?” She inquired, he rubbed the back of his head and chuckled awkwardly. “Uhhh... Robin told me what happened, Are you feeling okay?” Maria growled in frustration and began to walk away, Jonah breaking into a brisk jog to follow her. “I'm not going to talk about it.” She stated flatly, a scowl on her face. “That's fine too...” He said, trailing off with a hint of concern still in his voice.

“Take me to where the exam is happening” Maria demanded, her voice still monotone. He quickly put on a smile, jogging faster. “Got it! Just follow me.” He said, jogging fast enough to get ahead of Maria, then walking together where the exam was going to begin.